Best of FB - Oct 2013 Edition

The best kid related posts of Oct 2013

• Joss: Mommy? I got pee all over my underwear and my pants. My pee wasn't listening to me! *sad preschooler face*
• Scene
• Joss: Mommy, I'm a Buttongator.
• Me: What's a "buttongator?"
• Joss: A Buttongator is a person who can button and unbutton things. I'm unbuttoning my shirt, so I'm a Buttongator.
• Me: ....oh.
• Scene
• Overhearing kids arguing:
• Paul: Now I feel like when I grow up, I'M NEVER going to your house!
• Joss: I'll go over to YOUR house.
• Paul: NO! No, I won't tell you where it is!
• Joss: Where is it, Paul?!
• Paul: I'm not telling you!
• Joss: Well, I'm going to live wherever you live.
• Paul: I don't want you living with me! You can live in the same city, but can never know where I live.
• This has apparently been well-planned for a long time, and explains the mortgage paperwork we've been receiving addressed to P.A.Weil.
• Birthday Scene
• "Someone got ME a WHOLE BOX of SPORKS?!?!?!?" 
• *Gleefully sifts hands through the case of 1000 sporks.*
• Happy 6th Birthday, kiddo.
• Paul told me that when he has babies he's going to name the boy Paul and the girl Emmaline. But if he has two boys, he's going to name them the same thing...and make them be twins. Or maybe two boys and two girls. I don't know what to say.
• Awkward Scene
• Almost 4yr old: *hums* I'm singing Star Whores.
• Me: Um, Star WARS?
• Him: Yeah. *hums imperial march*
• Paul: Guess what? Do you know what the highest number ever is? It's INFINITY...plus 91. *nods*
•